Where I Am Now

Over the last couple months, I have started to work on losing weight. I did really well for a few weeks and lost about 15 pounds. Then, I got lax and fluctuated between having lost 10-15 pounds, but I didn't continue to lose anymore. I am playing on a basketball team in a women's league. I hate how out of shape I feel during the game, but I love the feeling I feel after. I am trying to get into better shape to feel better during these games. I am trying to work on eating better. My main obstacle is that when I get home from school each day, I am so tired and so my first thought is to make something quick and easy (and usually unhealthy) or grab something from a restaurant. Food is something I really have to work on, and will probably be my main obstacle during this journey. I am excited for warmer weather to help get me out and being more active. I have goals to workout and make myself stronger. I don't know if I will blog daily, but my goal is to do it a few times each week at least to help keep myself motivated. I know this won't be easy, and there will be bumps in the road. But, I am so excited to start working on being a better person. So, here's to small steps that can lead to some great life changes!

My Why

I am many things. A mom, a teacher, a wife, a lover of books, a lover of sports, and so much more. One of the biggest things I used to be was an athlete. I grew up playing sports. In high school I played volleyball, basketball, and softball. I was lucky enough to get to continue playing basketball in college. I was always active and I never felt uncomfortable or unhealthy with my body. I ate pretty healthy and always had a reason to work out. Then, college basketball ended and I didn't have anyone there to make me workout. Now at first, I thought that was a fabulous thing. It was so nice to not have 6 a.m. workouts. I also believed that I would be able to keep myself motivated and working out. I had always been an athlete, and I would just continue being one.

And then life happened..........

I started teaching 5th grade. Teaching is such an emotional job. I discovered Dr. Pepper, which became my best friend during the long days and nights of figuring out how to teach these little people I had the privilege to reach every day. I learned that I am an emotional eater and I started to eat my stress away. Then, I had my first baby and all the weight that came with that. I was able to lose most of that weight and get back in pretty good shape after that. But, then I had another baby, kept teaching, added more responsibilities to my life and eventually found myself neglecting myself. I ate my stress and emotions. I didn't work out like I should. I gained a lot of weight and felt so unhealthy. I knew that I needed to be better, but life was busy and I made excuses. I went and played sports and loved hiking and playing with my family and friends, but it was hard to do when I was so out of shape. I hated how I felt during those activities. I was not in a good place. I recently had my third baby. I got pregnant at a higher weight then I would have liked, and I found myself at my highest weight ever after my pregnancy. I also found that it wasn't as easy to lose my pregnancy weight like I had with the others. With all of the other responsibilities I was juggling this just added to my stress and emotions. I tried to lose weight several times, but nothing ever stuck and I always felt like a failure.

So, now what...........

I recently started to make some goals and small steps toward becoming healthier. This is not only about losing weight. It's about becoming a healthier person all around. For myself and my family. I want to adopt a healthier lifestyle that I will continue even after I lose the weight I need to. I have thought a lot about how to encourage myself to stay motivated. I have found a few books to read to help me. I also recently had the privilege of listening to a woman I respect so much talk about how blogging had helped her during a time of her life. As I listened to her talk about her experience I was hit with a strong urge to start a blog where I can write my thoughts down as I work through this process. I then thought that was ridiculous, and I really didn't want to open myself up like that. But, for the last week I have had it constantly on my mind. I began to feel like this might be a great outlet that can help me get my emotions out (without eating them) and it is a way to hold myself accountable. I don't plan on many people reading this, and that's okay. If you happen to come upon this and do take a second to read it, I hope you enjoy going through this journey with me!